You are here

Who remembers Emily Post? Anyone? Anyone? During the early 1900’s, she authored a whole slew of books on social etiquette. She was an instant success, and built an empire on her expertise for manners and poise. Emily, however, lived in a time when women still went to finishing school, and high tea parties and ballroom dancing were “all the rage.” Unfortunately for us, her literature missed the technology boom by a few too many... er, decades. So while we know to say “please” and “thank you” after favours and requests, and we know to place napkins in our laps, it seems we’re all just a tad lost when it comes to the other realm of social etiquette. I’m talking about cellular devices; we’re all addicted to our smartphones, and none of us really know how to tame the cravings.

Now, from taking phone calls in waiting rooms, to text messaging at the dinner table, social skills are a limited resource — the remainder of which are rapidly depleting. On that note, I offer you the following guide to smartphone use...

Table manners: Notice the word “table.” Dinner, might be the assumption, but brunch, coffee, dessert, even cigarette breaks with office colleagues are to be included here. In these circumstances, put your phone away. The table should always be clear of electronics, says Linda Allen, Canadian corporate expert who specializes in etiquette and behaviours in business. “If [your device] is on the table and turned off, it’s on your mind as well,” she explains. You need to be mindful of the people in your immediate surrounding more than you need to worry about your smartphone.

Formal affairs and intimate settings: Cocktails, galas, funerals, meetings; they all require that your phone be silenced. Please be absolutely sure to turn your phone off, as you will greatly offend the people around you if you don’t. If it must remain on, turn your profile to “silent” (not vibrate) and double check that there is no blinking light to keep you informed. Being preoccupied in these scenarios is a faux pas. “Most often,” says Allen, “people turn off the ring but there’s a little light that appears and [you] glance at it, which means you’re taking your eyes and your attention off the person(s).” Consider, under these circumstances, leaving your device in your purse, back pocket, or car.

The office: Perk up here people, because the way you’ve been handling your phone in lecture isn’t going to fly when you graduate to the office. If you’re in a professional setting, leave your phone behind. You are disrespecting your employers with it in hand, and potentially jeopardizing your job. When in a meeting, for example, you need to give the setting 100 percent of your concentration, explains etiquette expert Jacqueline Whitmore. “And,” she says, “being fully engaged means not tapping away on your smartphone.”

Public settings: Being in your private space (at home) enables you to talk and text freely, with no restraint. In public places however, we tend to create a bubble around ourselves and forget that others often overhear phone conversations. “It’s human nature,” Whitmore explains, “to listen — whether we want to or not — to other peoples’ conversations.” In this case, Whitmore says to “step away, where nobody can hear you talk about your lab results, or your torrid love affair.” If you insist on having that conversation, avoid Cell-Yell, a term Whitmore uses to describe obnoxious volumes. Your manners reflect your mindfulness and how aware you are of your surrounding, ergo talking too loudly is one of many ways you’re violating that code-of-conduct.

If all else fails, consider this rule-of-thumb: treat your smartphone like you would a tampon (sorry guys). Keep it concealed from the public; store it somewhere safe and easily accessible, and when your situation turns to "urgent", politely excuse yourself to the restroom, and finish your business quickly.

Seven Ways to Know You’re Addicted to Your Smartphone:

  1. You sneak the phone into your lap during important meetings or conversations.
  2. “OMG” or “WTF” are things you say in spoken conversations too.
  3. Your friends have to repeat sentences or parts of stories that you’ve missed, due to incessant phone activity.
  4. You think about what kind of action your phone is getting while you’re sitting at the dinner table... Please god let my family finish eating now!
  5. The first thing you do in the mornings (before getting out of bed) is check your phone.
  6. You take your phone to bathroom with you, not out of secrecy, but because you’re mid conversation.
  7. You stopped reading this list halfway through to check your text messages.